


Yo vivo para ti

by Lady_Elwing



Category: Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, dealing with death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:18:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Elwing/pseuds/Lady_Elwing
Summary: This is a short piece inspired by the events surround Guero's death. Teresa deals with her grief and finds comfort in the company of James, Pote and Kelly Anne. It has a Jeresa undertone but it's not exactly shippy.





	Yo vivo para ti

She was a woman of action, her scars were the only memories she carried. And yet, all she could feel, as they drove back to Phoenix was Guero’s head on her lap. Why hadn’t she noticed that he was dying? Why hadn’t she urged him to fight? Why…Why?

How long was ago was it that she was driving with music in her heart and ears? Thinking about the man she had left in her bed. Now it was dark, all she could think about was that man she had left in a shallow grave.

She felt Jame’s gaze on her face from the rearview mirror. Both Pote and James were death silent. Yes, death was silent. How many more bodies will litter her dreams?

“Theresa?“ His voice was like a balm but she didn’t want to talk, no she couldn’t. She cleared her throat :

“Yeah?“

“We’ll be home very soon.“

Home? Home… Where was home? Home was buried under the earth, home was a house far away. She looked outside, it was pitch dark. Here and there, she could see lights in the windows. Those were homes. And there wouldn’t ever be one for her anymore.

When the car finally stopped, she just stood there. Her door was opened.

“Come on Teresita,“ Pote helped her out of the car as if she was an elderly woman. She followed him inside, Kelly Anne was looking at her with sadness in her eyes. They must have texted her. She reached for her but Teresa couldn’t hug back, she stood like a wall. She was better at giving hugs than receiving them.

She numbly took a step back, avoiding their heavy gazes :

“I’ve got to shower…“

Finally, she was alone. The water was trickling in her hair, on her cheeks. The last remains of Guero were being washed away but not the guilt… All those months, they had kept him under lock, torturing him… And he never said a word. Guero that everyone had blamed for her situation. Guero had become a man in that cell and now he was a corpse.

There was knock on her bathroom door.

“Teresa?“ James, his voice was warm but she didn’t need warmth. She just wanted cold, freezing cold, something to fit the state of her heart.

“Pote is making pizza. I know you’re not hungry,“ His voice was gentle. She turned off the shower, “but… I’ll wait for you here.“

She stepped out of the shower, dried herself and put on the clothes she had automatically brought in. Outside, in front of the bathroom door, James was leaning against the wall. She couldn’t escape his gaze.

His hands were gentle on her shoulders,

“Teresa, I…“

“No. Please don’t,“ she thought about how he held her after she lost Brenda. She went to the kitchen and dining area.. If it were a normal day, she would have told Pote it smelled good. What if… What if Guero were here? He’d be sitting on that couch.. No. She couldn’t afford this luxury. She sat down on the table, next to Kelly Anne. She listened to them as they talked about the problems Boaz’ men were having, talking about the weather. She wasn’t listening.

She could hear Guero. And feel the guilt in her stomach and mouth that made the food taste like dust. All these months! All these months, she had been reveling in her new power and then James came, and she was losing herself into his eyes. She had thought about Guero. He was dead, he was alive, he was dead. But it didn’t keep her up at night… It should have.

There was a shuffle around her. She saw Kelly Anne and Pote were clearing the table. James took her hand and led her to the couch. Yes, the couch where Guero would have sit. She drew her knees against her chest, she was so cold, so very cold. She felt someone wrap a shawl on her shoulders, an arm wrapped around her, keeping her safe from reality.

But nobody can be protected from death. She looked up to find Pote looking at her with a sad expression on his face. James was the one keeping her steady. Kelly Anne left a steaming mug in front of her.

“It will calm your nerves.“

She wanted to say that she was fine but no words came out of her mouth. She forced herself to take a few sips but why drink something? Would it change anything?

She had lost her family, her first home, the first man she had loved.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.“ James took her hand gently and led her back to her room. He didn’t leave until she was tucked under a blanket. She didn’t sleep, she just laid there thinking about every single insignificant moment. Guero was gone, with all his promises and those eyes looking at her. She sat up in the dark.

Now the cold was bothering her, the silence too. She needed something to hold, something, someone to breathe with. Guero was dead, but she wasn’t. In the hallway she could hear Pote snoring loudly. It must be late. She lingered in front of Kelly Anne’s bedroom. They were close but with her friend, Teresa was always the strong one, the one who protected. But tonight she couldn’t be strong for anyone, not even herself.

There was only one shoulder she could truly cry on tonight. She didn’t knock, she simply walked into his bedroom. She whispered his name, no matter how numb she was, she knew it perilous to startle a soldier.

“Teresa? Are you okay?“ she shook her head, not caring if he could see the gesture or not, she slipped in his bed, and he shifted away, “Teresa, what are you doing?“ Always respectful, always gentle. He’d protect her even from herself. 

“I just.. James, I just feel so guilty,“ the words tumbled out of her mouth, “so guilty. They tortured him,“ she was crying, the sobs interrupting her. She was choking. He had sat up, stroking her back. She was grateful that he wasn’t saying anything. 

“They kept him alive like an animal… For what? Revenge?“ And another sob tore through her throat, from deep within her. No, there were no words to express who and what Guero Davilas was to her.

She became someone else after he disappeared for the first time.. Yet, once upon a time he was everything to her. He gave her love and devotion, a home and safety when she had nothing.

She reached for James, this time he didn’t push her away. Instead, his arms went around her, and she buried her face in his chest. They sat in the dark for a long time. At some point, he gently pulled her down on the bed, and they laid their, entwined. 

The next morning, she groggily left the bed. James was already somewhere else in the house. She went to take a long shower, the pain had lessened. There were other decisions to make, other steps to take, new faces to great. As she dressed up, she reached for his medallion. She looked at it, for now she will carry him with her. She fastened the chain around her neck.

“Good morning,“ she greeted her friends. Kelly Anne was handing her coffee and Pote was frying something. She noticed how her two friends were smiling to each other. There was something that connected each of them together. Kelly Ann e was keeping an eye with Tony, keeping a part of Brenda here with them. She looked up through the french windows and saw James. He was looking into the distance, his phone in one hand, his cigarette in the other. Her own phone was full of messages. It was the usual stuff, King George had decided to send her a smiley from God knows where. Lil’ T was confirming that everyone was ok at the winery. They were a part of her life. Part of her wondered how they’d take the news, but another part, was fiercely protective of her pain. Last night’s moment of weakness had to be buried deep inside of her. She saw James coming in, to his credit, he only nod at her, as if he knew she didn’t want to ever talk about last night. The crying, the comfort she had found with him would remain safe in their silence.   
Pote was urging James to at least try his frittata, Kelly Anne was swearing that it was delicious. They were laughing, she saw their guilty looks when they noticed her looking. So she smiled :

“I want some too.“ They all sat down, eating and talking in low voices about this and that. Yesterday was gone. Their boss was back on her feet. 

She took a sip of coffee and silently bid farewell to Guero and Brenda, the family she had lost. Goodbye. She saw her, the Teresa from the future, all in white. She was smiling sadly :

“It’s time to start the next chapter. You’re the only one who can turn the page.“

Teresa nodded to herself. Another sip of coffee, and Pote was refilling her mug and James saying he wanted some too.

The whole world had shaken up, but she had awoken to find out that she still had walls around her, and a roof. She still had a home, a family. She would go on. If you stopped just for a second, you’d die. She was a survivor, she’d be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't as yet watched beyond 3X06. The ending of 3X06 really touched me and inspired me (even though I'm not a big fan of Guero) and I wanted to explore Teresa's grief, and how her friends could have helped... Especially James. ;) I hope you enjoyed it. The title is the title of the song by Carla Morrison that was in the background when Teresa realizes that Guero is dead.


End file.
